Today was Jon's and my third wedding anniversary. Under other circumstances I'd be completely bummed that we were hardly able to spend 20 minutes of it together, most of which was readying the kids for bed. He had to work all day, and I do literally mean all of it. He woke up and went to work then came in the door and laid down to sleep thirty minutes later. And it's not like all this working of his even lines our pockets with any padding. At this point it serves as a tiny spade we are using to try and dig ourselves out of a financial hole the size of the grand canyon. But you want to know something incredible? I don't think either one of us has been happier. More in love. More at peace. Strange, isn't it? A true testament to the fact that happiness in life is about your relationships and your state of mind, and that the whole purpose of it is to grow and change and find joy in the process. Not about ease or luxury or things.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever Gods may be,
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance,
I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the bludgeonings of chance,
My head is bloody but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears,
Looms but the Horror of the shade.
And yet the menace of the years,
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how straight the gate,
Nor how charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
The captain of my soul.
Invictus by Williams Ernest Henley.
I wish all those things were true of myself, but I strive for that.
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