Wednesday, July 21, 2010


It's funny, as an opinionated person who seems to always have something to say...I never blog about it. I put it on facebook if the fancy strikes me, but I never blog. That's changing, I think if anything my blog is a much more appropriate venue for my rantings.

Today's topic: Nursing (breastfeeding) in public. I support it and I am all for it. This is why.

||The Disclaimer
I support a mother's decision to bottle feed if she so chooses, and I won't argue the fact that in certain cases where breastfeeding effects the mother's or child's mental or physical health negatively, that bottle could be best. However; speaking STRICTLY from a nutritional standpoint, breast is best. It's not opinion or closed mindedness, its biological fact. And I do not mean that to be insensitive to those who choose or chose not to or cannot breastfeed, but that is what the scientific research supports.

||The Societal Implications
With that being said, I believe that a great number of women choose not to breastfeed because it is extremely difficult to incorporate nursing into their lives while being "polite" about doing so. Which is to say, to not have to receive looks and comments everywhere they go where they could possibly be seen by folks with disapproving eyeballs and snooty mouths. A sentiment I completely understand, its almost darn near IMPOSSIBLE in today's accepted US society to breastfeed "discretely" and carry on with your life efficiently. I once remember a family member of mine, who is a terrific and thoughtful Mom, tell me that she quit nursing after a few months because she was tired of always hiding or nursing in her car. It became too hard. I have to say, I don't blame her one bit. That's no way to live your life with children. The statistics fully support this little thesis of mine that a lot of us base our decision to bottle feed or breastfeed on our societal environment and the acceptance there of. In other countries it is commonplace to see women nursing their babies everywhere they go, covered or not. It is less offensive to most people in those countries because it is something that people there are used to seeing. It doesn't distract or occupy a passerby's thoughts unnecessarily, because its as common there as seeing anyone else eat.

||The Stats
I obtained these statistics from, whose information is sourced from Parenting Magazine, the World Health Organization, Unicef, and other credible sources.

Breastfeeding Rates Around the World

Country % of mothers who start % who continue 6 months or longer

Sweden 98 53
Norway 98 50
Poland 93 10
Canada 80 24
Netherlands 68 25
Britain 63 21
United States 57 20

For considering ourselves such a sophisticated nation...look at how we rank on this important nutritional and health component. I think as a society we need to rethink our definition of "decency". Clearly, its not helping anyone in this particular area and we can safely hypothesize that it is hurting our children. Overall health, for all the medical technologies and resources we have, does not stack up for us either. I realize that there are other factors contributing to that last one, but I really believe the lack of nursing is a key factor.

||The logistics
For those people that say "nurse at home before you leave", "stay at home till they are done with the nursing age", "nurse in the bathroom", or "cover up, we don't want to see that", I have this to say to you: Follow me to the produce section...I'd like to pick out a juicy tomato to throw at your face. And to those who say "I nursed my children and managed to never nurse so people could see", good for you, if that's what you wanted, but it's not what I want to have to arrange my life around. It's not what a lot of moms want, and frankly, I don't think we are asking too much. Especially when we have the best interest of our child in mind and statistics on our side.

Consider this, I need to go to the grocery store. Simple outing, right? Wrong. I have a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old, a pretty common spacing of children. I can't just force the baby to nurse when I need to leave so that she's good for a little while, it doesn't work like that. The few times I have tried that, she throws up the whole feeding and gets fussy. So I wait around for her to eat, then I get us out the door. Fine. Let's say its 10:30am. It takes me about 20 minutes to double check the diaper bag, make sure everyone's pants are dry, put shoes back on feet, etc, and get everyone in the car and driving to our destination. It's now 10:50. We get to the grocery store in ten minutes, and we park. Getting two kids that age out of the car and into the store also takes another ten minutes. We get inside and get everybody settled in the cart with something to keep us all happy. It's now approx 11:15 and, great, the baby is hungry. Guess what, most newborns do not eat on a predictable schedule with convenient time lapses between feedings. Some would have me undo all that work getting the kids situated in the cart and go in the bathroom to nurse. Lets dissect that scenario, I'll even put aside the cart situation and skip to the potty room feeding. Here we go. Are you kidding? Yes, let me just take my 2.5 year old and baby and bags, and stuff us all into a restroom stall. This is fun! I'm nursing on a disgusting toilet with loud industrial grade flushing noises going on all around me, distracting, and probably scaring, my baby. And my two year old (like any kid her age would be) is bored and now busy trying to put her hands on every germy surface in the stall. I can't stop her, I'm busy being a polite girl and nursing on the pot. Give me a break. PASS! Let's assume I did that. The time is probably now noon and I rush through the rest of my shopping trip so I can feed the older one lunch, because it's now 12pm and we started this expedition at 10:30am and haven't even gotten any shopping done yet. So now we are rushing, my two year old is on edge because she is two and so far I've just been dragging her around hardly even interacting with her for an hour and a half. An eternity it toddler land. She is hungry and not letting me finish the trip in peace. In no time the baby needs to be nursed again, she is way overstimulated by all the commotion. And may I point out that substituting a bottle at this point wouldn't be prudent. Comfort nursing isn't something to avoid, it's something to embrace. It builds trust, nursing does not need to be solely nutritional for fear of "spoiling" the child.

Also, breast vs bottle when you are out doesn't just make good sense in terms of bonding, it serves another purpose as well; keeping your supply consistent with your baby's needs. Pumping at work so that your baby might have a breast milk when you can't be there in person is much different than giving your angel a bottle when your breast is right there and available. If you are away from your baby, you can mimic your baby's feeding schedule (as best you can) by pumping when those feedings might normally take place if you were with your child. If you are pumping before you leave the house and then skipping a feeding/expression to give the baby a bottle in avoidance of offending ill placed sensibilities, then you are messing with your body's system of supply and demand. You are confusing it. You are adding an expression in between two others and then skipping one later on. For some Moms this is not a problem, but for many this leads to a decreased or inconsistent supply and can make future nursings with the baby frustrating for mom and for baby.

And if you really want to get me riled up, you can tell me to nurse in the bathroom. Did you know fecal matter floats and descends for up to two hours after a toilet is flushed? Please, yes, let me go into the bathroom and feed my baby so that I may have poo particles fall on my baby's face and onto the breast it is drinking from. Not a chance. Unless you'd like to bring your lunch in there and join me. No? Well, ok then.

So there you have it. And furthermore, I will not be forced to separate myself from every social situation every 1-3 hours. My sanity can't take it. Nursing mothers are not second rate citizens.

You should very well be respecting and revering me and my fellow nursing mommies for the wonderful thing we are doing for our babies, but for now we will settle for your acceptance and tolerance, because we know even that is a stretch for some.

I'd like to point out that though I have encountered many rude and uneducated people in regards to my public nursing, I have also received kudos from people I know and from passersby. To those people, thank you. That is the kind of support that keeps nursing Mom's motivated when it gets a little tough. For the others who are ignorant and rude, read this blog, then put it in your pipe and smoke it!


The Good Stuff

Today was Jon's and my third wedding anniversary. Under other circumstances I'd be completely bummed that we were hardly able to spend 20 minutes of it together, most of which was readying the kids for bed. He had to work all day, and I do literally mean all of it. He woke up and went to work then came in the door and laid down to sleep thirty minutes later. And it's not like all this working of his even lines our pockets with any padding. At this point it serves as a tiny spade we are using to try and dig ourselves out of a financial hole the size of the grand canyon. But you want to know something incredible? I don't think either one of us has been happier. More in love. More at peace. Strange, isn't it? A true testament to the fact that happiness in life is about your relationships and your state of mind, and that the whole purpose of it is to grow and change and find joy in the process. Not about ease or luxury or things.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever Gods may be,
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance,
I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the bludgeonings of chance,
My head is bloody but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears,
Looms but the Horror of the shade.
And yet the menace of the years,
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how straight the gate,
Nor how charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
The captain of my soul.

Invictus by Williams Ernest Henley.

I wish all those things were true of myself, but I strive for that.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

random ranting

Completely unrelated to the rest of the post, but, I would just like to point out that I could accomplish many a great thing...were it not for my need to sleep. Oh the things I could do with that time! haha. :::sigh:::

On one hand, I have the cutest kids. One the other hand (as Tevia would say)...there is no other hand! My kids are scrum-diddlee-umptuous.

This photo sums up their relationship. Tenley, wi
th an evil grin, and Scarlett, scared to death of her.



Thursday, July 1, 2010

Living up to my title

This Lazy Mom is just lazy enough to ignore not only household chores, but her blog as well. Though I might have change my title to 90% LazyMom as I have been zumba-ing my hind quarters off. Literally. I've lost over 20 pounds and counting. (Hollaaaa!) ;-D

I am officially a "TwiMom". I Let Scarlett go through some "booby milk" (as Tenley calls it) withdrawl tonight so that I could go see Eclipse, the third movie in the Twilight Saga. Hellllo Scrumptuous vamps and wherewolves! Come to Momma.

Speaking of scrumptuous, my always adorable hubby is starting to become more beefy wherewolf than thin Cullen these days. Although he's always scrum-diddlee-umptuous to me, I'm not hating this new burlier version of himself he's been working on.

It's after 2am and Tenley is still up. Splendid. The not even three month old sleeps through the night, but 2.5 year old Tenley....not a chance.

Right now I'm employing the VHS babysitter while I blog. Yes that's right, not BluRay, not DVD, ....V-H-S, baby. That's how we roll. I'm also using a rear projection computer moniter. Gasp! What can I say, I'm just vintage that way. Or poor. Depending on the way you evaluate the fluid volume of your drinking glass. Anyhow, my childhood VHS Disney collection has got my daughter hooked like crack. Every night gown is a "Cindwella dwess" and she runs around the house yelling "Dweams come twue, Mommy!". She's also picked up on the drama in movies. When she's unhappy with whatever I'm doing to/with her, she gets a fat lower lip and a heavy head and wimpers, "Mommy, you can't do dis, Mommy. Don't do dis." Really, its most adorable when we are in the grocery store and she starts in while I'm putting her in the cart and people are looking at me like I must beat her.

Well, Cindarella just got hitched and they are riding off in their's time for me to go before Tenley notices I'm on the computer and I have to "share my toy" with her. Oh yeah, teaching her sharing has bit me in the a$$.