Thursday, October 8, 2009

The Very Uncouth Fan Slash Air Purifier

Tenley doesn't understand that stationary objects will not speak when spoken too. It took me 45 minutes to pick her up from my Mom's because she was yelling at the fan slash air purifier...hugging the fan slash air purifier....kissing the fan slash air the fan slash air purifier. "Buh bye fan!" "Big hug? Okay, fan!" "Ohhh kiss, fan!" "Hey! See later!" And this goes on and on and on till I've past the point of thinking it is so funny that I'm practically whizzing myself, and on to contemplating the use of a soaked rag to knock her unconscious so that we can leave.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Blog Improvement

I want this to be a blog that you sleep deprived Moms want to come to when you have a free moment. Or, the more probably scenario, when you don't have a free moment but are ignoring your housework to escape to the internet. Whatever. I don't judge. At any rate, please tell me what kinds of things you would want to read about! Either about my family, or about something else entirely. What will make you visit? Leave a comment or email me at


-The Lazy Mom

Lazy Mom Tip #1

When you can't find a dustpan (or you are just lazy like me, and the latter option is closer), a floppy cutting board will suffice. This is especially helpful when you've got a toddler with an affinity for "helping" who is charging gleefully toward the pile faster than you can locate an actual dustpan.

Thursday, October 1, 2009


Today Tenley uttered her first complete sentence. "Oopsh! I dropped it on da flowa!"
I was beaming with pride until I realized that "it" was a bowl full of yogurt. I wished I could have laughed in beguilement right then and let the mess fairies take care of the splattered yogurt. Things are decidedly less funny when they are attached to a mess with my name written all over it .

One of the most amusing things about toddlers is their loose understanding of the concept of deceivability. It's annoying, amusing and charmingly innocent all at the same time. After her first exclamation came a second, "Uh oh! Oh no!" It was so sincere. As if to make me believe she was bewitched into overturning her breakfast, and was genuinely shocked that it happened. Her trust in the fact that I will believe everything from her mouth leads me to think that she will believe that anything that may escape from mine. use my powers for good or evil...?

Also, new word today: Spoots! Thats Tenley for "Please help me put on my boots before I hurl them, unavoidably toward some open container of food or drink."

The first of many to come

This is my blog.

I am the mother of beautiful and cunning daughter named Tenley, who is now 21 startling months old, and the mother to be of a player to be named later swimming around in my uterus.

I am wife to a wonderful and handsome, albeit clueless and messy, husband.

I am very young. Not so young that I haven't been ordering my own cocktails for a few years, but not old enough to rent a car without the young idiot premium.

I am starting this blog to catalog my life as a mother. To put to paper, so to speak, the fleeting childhoods of my little ones. I am starting this in hopes of creating a place where other Mom's can share the ups and downs of everyday parenting with me. It is in the play by play moments that we experience our fullest joys, our most intense disappointments, our most anguishing frustrations, and our most amusing surprises. Truth is always stranger, and often more compelling and amusing, than fiction.

It is so refreshing to me to read the tid bit updates of another tired Mom's day on facebook. It gives me comfort in the comradeship that another Mother experiences the same things I do. From happiness to self doubt, to things even grosser than my one year old's poop/sock/taco concoction she "made" for me in the hallway.

To call myself talented would be reaching, but I do believe I have a way of telling a story. A way that makes you feel however I may be feeling and connect it to your own experience. This is for me, and this is for you, fellow "Lazy Mom's". Read and retreat. We'll laugh and cry it out together.

Or no one will read this. Whatever.