Dear Daughters, Don't Hate Me

Tenley,

Tonight you and I saw the Disney movie, Brave. You said the funniest things, like "these are our moving tickets, mom" and explained what waiting in line meant to the people behind us, in case they hadn't heard me tell you about thirty five seconds earlier. I cried for an inappropriate portion of the film. I saw and me and you (well, you and I the way we used to be all the time, and are becoming less and less every day) in the mother and little girl in the beginning, hiding and playing and holding you down in my lap pretending to eat you up. I really could have eaten you, little kids young enough to have any trace of baby in them smell simply delicious, its just an indisputable fact. Then when the movie cut to the girl as a ornery teenager, I especially saw you. Which is beyond depressing. You are only four. You are not supposed to hate me that much yet. I'm so sorry I'm not a better, more patient mom. But to be fair, you've declined your fair share of my invitations for second (and third and twentieth) chances to act reasonably. Dear child, don't you know that it is much easier, faster, and far less emotional for me to put away your toys for you, put your clothes with the dirty clothes for you, put your garbage in the trash for you, put your plates in the sink for you, and get you ready to leave on my own, rather than the tedious, drawn out, pain staking mission that it is to coerce you to do these things for yourself? I don't push you to do them because it makes my life any easier, lassy (shut up, I'm still hearing all the Scottish talk from the movie in my head). It doesn't make my life easier, you never want to do them, there is always lots of wailing and gnashing of teeth. I do it because I love you, because I want you to love you. And as much as I want you to belong to me forever and ever and ever, you won't ever love yourself if you feel like you aren't your own. And if I always do everything for you, if you can't learn to start trusting yourself to things, you won't ever feel like your own. I still feel so helpless half the time, like I want to call all the "adults" in my life because they should be handling these things I feel I can't do on my own. It's an awful feeling. I want to empower you. I want to empower so much more than I want to possess you, and believe me, as much as I love the living daylight out of you despite your defiance, I want to possess you forever. I want to empower you more than I want to possess you, because I love you. So. Much. Even though you resist all of my efforts, 99.89% of the time, with all the piss and vinegar in you (of which there is plenty), and make me feel like you don't even like me. I love you that much, so please, don't hate me. I promise to make more dates with you so that we have many pleasant memories for you to draw from when you're grown.

I love you so much. Did I already say that?
I love you.

Mom

Crave Photography Giveaway

You have forty mins to enter an awesome giveaway at cravemyphotography.com!!

New House

I'm light years behind on pictures and posting. Just popping in to post a few snappies from our first few nights in the the new house

Expose Yourself: Day One

I failed to do the last expose yourself project, but the second one has started and this time I managed to start.

Two hours after midnight of the first day.

Shut up, I'm a procrastinator. 

You know it and love me anyway.

"My Style"
I have no idea what my style is. In life. In fashion. In photography.
Who knows.
So I picked an image I took from my first few months with my SLR.
I don't know why I love it so much.
I just do.
My style: Indefinable.

Bee Doop Bee Doop, Santa Baby...

Anyone else secretly writing to Santa now that Thanksgiving is over?
Wanna know what?
I think Santa has a Pinterest account.
Lucky for him, I've made it easy and have been pinning my favorite things.

                                                            

I really want to slim down and wear more dresses. I've realized that with a pair of leggings, it's SO much more comfortable than jeans. And cuter. And when I feel cute, I'm more productive. So there you go. A two hundred dollar dress from Anthropologie totally justified.

Source: anthropologie.com via Jacqueline on Pinterest

Also from Anthropologie, but more affordable! I really need an apron, I always soak my front doing dishes and wipe my hands on the hips of my pants when I cook :)

Source: anthropologie.com via Jacqueline on Pinterest

Who doesn't need riding boots?

Source: carlosshoes.com via Jacqueline on Pinterest

Picture frames from Organic Bloom. I LOVE THESE FRAMES! They are only vended through portrait photogs and I'm considering becoming a vendor and adding them to my 2012 photog biz rollout!

Source: theorganicbloom.com via Jacqueline on Pinterest

I want to start experimenting with off camera flash. I need one of these bad boys. They need to be five dollars. Not two hundred. Then I could have one.

Source: amazon.com via Jacqueline on Pinterest

I need a camera purse that can **safely** carry my personal things and my camera gear. I asked Santa for a JoTote camera purse last year as it was the least expensive of the cam gear purses. Well, there is a reason it is inexpensive. I should have read a few reviews before submitting my request to St. Nick. It falls apart and does not protect your gear.

Time to invest in the Coach bag of Camera handbags...Kelly Moore :)

Now, do I want the 2 Sues or the Mimi?

Source: kellymoorebag.com via Jacqueline on Pinterest

Source: amazon.com via Jacqueline on Pinterest

Source: kellymoorebag.com via Jacqueline on Pinterest

Black Friday

Black Friday to me means I'm catching up on my DISASTER of a home before I'm allowed to put up any Christmas decorations! :)

On a happy note, yesterday was the first day I've ever baked ANYTHING from scratch that didn't need to be thrown out. I made a healthy pumpkin chocolate pizookie (kind of like a pie, a deep dish cookie/pizza)  from the blog Chocolate Covered Katie. TO DIE! So good!

Pro tip:
Don't leave your back of chocolate chips near the stove while you're preheating the oven unless you want fudge sauce.

Sewing

I need/want to learn to sew! Right after I start/finish my expose yourself project :)

Of my one or two readers, who sews?
Do you actually make cute little dresses and such or is it more of a hassle than it's worth?